Kissing on a star

I am privileged to share my name with a few special people, one being my oldest daughter, Maristela.
My little "Stela", as we call her, is the 5th generation to carry on the special family name meaning "Star of the Sea".
And to me, my Stela is the STAR of  more than just the sea!
She has this ability to light up any room she walks into,  and has a smile that is contagious to just about everyone she comes into contact with, and when I hear laughter from a distance, I can assume Stela had something to do with it.
When we're out in public, she is so friendly and quick to say "HI" (or "HOLA") to others, without judgement or reservations.
You can just see that she is truly happy to be alive!
  
The other day, I observed something about Stela, that I hadn't noticed before.
But, before I tell you what that was, I have to give you a little more background on this little star of ours. Stela, LOVES to give kisses....She kisses the princesses on her clothes, she kisses her dolls, the animals in her story books too. And,  if she particularly likes something you did for her or she feels love toward you, she will grab each side of your face and kiss your forehead or your cheek, over and over again until she is satisfied with the amount of love she has shown back to you.

Now, back to my newly discovered observation...
I watched Stela one day, as she took a seat in her favorite zebra print chair, for a little break after she'd been playing. And for some reason or another, seemed to be exceptionally pleased with herself about something she had done. Then she looked down at her arm and kissed it, next her knee and continued on down to her toes. Just as satisfied and happy as can be.
At first I thought it was just cute and kind of funny too.
But later on, it really hit me, I realized that if she kisses those things or people she loves and cares about, then that must mean she that she loves and cares about herself too!"
I guess it may not seem like a huge deal, but for me, this was more than huge! It made me so happy to realize that at such a young age, she can feel that satisfaction and love for herself. More importantly, her worth as a human being and daughter of God.
She is satisfied with the way she is! She loves her chubby feet ( that she inherited from me :), she loves her little gapped tooth smile, the color of her skin, her weight, hair texture, and all of her unique qualities that make her Stela, the Star.

That got me thinking about the love I have for myself and the qualities that make me who I am? Did I love my chubby feet? My smile, weight, skin color or texture of hair I was given like Stela did? Or did I look at all those unique traits as "not good enough" or as something I "need to fix"???

I have to say that in the society and culture we live in today, It is not so easy to view ourselves as the Stars we truly are.
If you know anything about stars and how they function, you know that they are truly incredible!
Each individual star is made up of the same ingredients and materials. But, the amount and level of each material will differ from star to star.
The result? Stars that are unique in shape, size, and glow factor. But, when we look up into the sky, each and every star has a breathtaking beauty to it. In fact, one of the reasons the sky is so breathtaking, is because of all the variety you see! If each star looked the exact same, the sky just wouldn't be as exciting!

As women, we are constantly bombarded with messages of inadequacy in our daily lives, especially with all the new and ever evolving technology that we are presented with. This unrealistic idea that, we need to be perfect. A "perfect" Mother, with a "perfect" body, a "perfect" housewife, have a "perfectly" decorated home, have a career outside of the home WHILE, may I add, looking like you just came from the salon. And we all know that logically, that is absurd and unattainable, but sadly, a lot of women see that as their ultimate goal. That once they get all of those checked off their "to-do list" they will finally be happy. What a lie!

It seems like the older I get, the more aware I am of "the pull" as I like to call it...the pull to the other side. The side that tells you, you should look like this, be like this, feel like this and if you don't fit into "this" mold, then there is something wrong with you.
In my mind, there is something wrong with THAT, and for some reason, we see that as the norm! How did we allow this to happen? These messages are so damaging to our self worth and to our desire to allow ourselves to shine as individually. Just like stars, we are all made of the same materials, and our level or amount of each material differs from person to person. We can either let that dim the light we are capable of giving off, OR we can embrace our uniqueness and shine to our fullest potential.

I have been a makeup artist for several years now and I have seen how the outer appearance can "seem" more important than the inner self. And many women are under the misconception that you have to be as pretty as an actress to be happy."
Well let me tell you something about those "pretty " actresses. They are just like you and I. Out of the hundreds of faces I have worked on, weather it be a model or a mother of 6. Without makeup, we ALL LOOK THE SAME. All the people you see on magazines and in movies are no more "beautiful" than the people you interact with each day. They just have a team of professionals that enhance their unique features to help them appear the way they do, for the camera. I guess I'm saying this because when I was younger, I thought celebrities had a "wow factor" that made them prettier or above the average person. But now, I know, we all posses that "wow factor" and we can all look just as "pretty" as they do. To sum it all up, All faces are created equally.
On the other hand, not all personalities are created equally. I have worked with many talented people over the years and for some, the makeup I applied, just enhanced their amazing qualities like integrity, humility, cheerfulness, or willingness to help others. But for others, there was no amount of makeup that could hide the self entitled and prideful countenance they carried around with them. These two types of clients may look the exact same "pretty" wise to the human eye BUT, one of these people shines far brighter than the other.

Now, while I do love all the fun stuff that comes along with being a girl. I think it's important to remember that those things ONLY bring temporary and artificial happiness, UNLESS, we are ALREADY happy and content with ourselves the way we are. Let's try to remember the example of  precious Stela and be able to say "hey, I'm happy with myself" and remember that it's important remind ourselves that we do love ourselves the way we are. So much so, that we feel the need to give ourselves a big kiss once in  a while! :) I'm saying this more metaphorically but, I hope you get the point.

I realize we are human, and it is not easy to fight "the pull"  all the time. So, if you struggle to accept yourself the way you are, just start practicing! You can teach yourself and get good at anything ONLY BY PRACTICE!

When your inner voice tells you, "Your (fill in the blank) isn't good enough." Reply, "Yes it is, and I like it that way!" 

Then truly make an effort to see why that part of you is fine the way it is.
Learn to love your hair the way it is, learn to love your body, in WHATEVER stage it's in, learn to love your smile, even if you don't have "perfect" teeth. Learn to embrace your unique traits, rather than compare them to others. Comparing yourself with everyone else is just toxic so, accept your differences and strive to be the kind of *STAR* that shines to its fullest potential.
 In the end, it's up to you and ONLY you!