For the past six years I have been blessed to live my dream as an artist, in the medium of makeup and design. I get to be surrounded by extraordinary people every day, who share their passions and abilities with me and allow me to share mine with them.
I believe that each one of us has a passion that is burning somewhere, deep inside our souls. Some of us, have an unwavering, mighty flame burning strong. And others, a faint flicker of light, fighting to stay lit.
You may wonder what passion is exactly or why it matters? Well, to me, passion is what makes the world go 'round. Nothing can be accomplished if there isn't any passion behind the cause. Passion, has proven the impossible, to be possible. Passion, has freed prisoners from bondage and suffering, passion has given hope, passion has saved lives, passion has changed history, passion has healed broken hearts, passion HAS no limits.
Every one of our thoughts and actions are sourced by passion in one way or another, even if we don't realize it. For example, If you are passionate about something, then you care more about that something and caring leads to action. That, is why discovering what our passion is, is so important in this life. We should learn to feed our flame to improve our lives, and the lives of those around us.
Growing up, with a big family and a small budget, I quickly learned how to improvise and be creative, to compensate for what I didn't have. When reflecting on my past, I realize that no matter how much money you DON'T have, you can always use creativity and a little artistic-ness to make up for it. My Mom is a great example of what I am talking about, she truly is, one of the most creative people I know. I remember, she could always make something, out of nothing. Instead of buying everything she needed, she'd use what she had and make what she needed. DIY (Do it yourself) was not a common term when I was little but, my house was surrounded by everything DIY. For Birthday parties, she'd make her own piñatas, bake and decorate the cake helrself, make the invitations, and design her own decorations. She made me a cake one year, that I will never forget. It was a barbie dressed in a beautiful ball gown. She stuck one of my barbies into the cake, frosted the bodice of the dress onto the barbie, then the cake was shaped and frosted into a perfect princess gown. I loved it, and I don't think a store bought cake would've even come close. By seeing her create so much with so little, I learned, that you can be happy with what you have because, you can create whatever you want.
Ever since I can remember, art, was something I felt comfortable doing and it came naturally to me. Unlike sports, where I was (and am) so challenged. I never liked PE and I always felt out of place and anxious when in that environment. To me, holding a bat in my hand was the most unnatural and awkward feeling and to be honest, I hated it. On the contrary, holding a pencil or brush in my hand was the total opposite feeling. I felt so comfortable and relaxed. Art, was my "thing" and because of some distinct experiences in my life, I soon discovered that my passion for art lie in the area of beauty and fashion.
When I was little, my Mom gave me an outdated scrap calendar to use as a note book, since the back of each page was blank. I began drawing a "look" on each page. From ball gowns and up dos to casual outfits and loosely curled hair. Spending so much time on each detail, the lashes on each eye or the ruffle on dress. I'd get lost in another world, time seemed to fly by and I just remember feeling like I could go on forever.
That, is the first time I remember getting that "natural high" feeling. That feeling of wonder, thrill, excitement, satisfaction, relaxation, that all over intense rush of emotion. That is the first time I remember feeling PASSION!
Years later, as Junior high aged girl, I wasn't sure what direction I wanted to go in with my personal "look". It was a transitional stage for me, as it is for a lot of us at that age. And I got stuck in this rut of wearing my hair up every day. Out of my face and in my comfort zone. One day my good friend told me I should try wearing my hair down for once. I thought, "no way! Completely down?!"....That was so foreign to me, I hated my hair in my face and I'd feel so awkward if I wore it all down! I wanted to stay in my routine and comfort zone so, I said I'd think about it. Not planning on doing it but, I didn't want to be rude. Luckily for me, my friend kept persisting (for a few months) that I wear my hair down. Finally, One day for a special occasion, (don't remember what it was) I wore my hair down. I walked out the door, feeling so exposed and uncomfortable. I hesitantly got onto the bus, walked down the isle to where my friends were saving our usual seat, It felt like everyone was starting. (Even though I know it was all in my head) My friends were so excited that I finally did it! They said they liked it and that helped me feel a little better about the big change. It sounds so dumb now and like a not so big deal but, to me, it was huge at the time. Throughout the day I got lots of compliments even though I still felt uncomfortable, it helped. It's amazing what kind words from peers can do for your fragile self confidence at that age and actually, at any age. Well, something clicked that day, and I quickly realized that I could express myself and show my creativity and passion for art through my personal style. I was encouraged to break out of my shell and feel uncomfortable and exposed. In life, different situations force us feel exposed and out of control. As humans, I think we dread those situations and try to avoid running into them at all costs. But, those experiences and moments help us grow and discover that we are braver and stronger then we knew! And for me, that experience opened up so many doors for me, I am grateful for the friend who gave me a push into the direction I didn't know I was meant to go in.
After I broke down one of my comfort zone barriers that day, I felt like a whole new world of possibilities had opened up to me. I decided I would never wear my hair the same way twice in a row, before doing something different in between. Basically, I went to the other extreme and usually I don't recommend extremes but, in my case, it was all in the name of art! I learned so much about hair and the way it moves, molds and shapes. I'd really get creative and try new braids and up dos, new twists and textures. I began to develop a love for creating new works of art through hair design. And I now realize that it was all practice to help me in the future.
After a few years of practicing my new found passion for hair design, I talked to my mom about the possibility of enrolling into beauty school. I was a sophomore in high school and the idea of doing what I loved and calling it a "job" was just so unreal to me. Going to hair school seemed like a very distant dream but I just couldn't get it out of my mind! We talked to the owners that told me I could start school during my Junior summer and be finished a couple months after graduation High School. I felt like everything was falling into place perfectly! I was so excited to start but, I quickly realized that it cost quite a bit of money and I didn't have any. My Parents said that I would have to pay for school if I wanted to go. At that time we had 9 kids in our family and there was no way my parents could pay for my tuition. Even with the discount I got of 3,000 dollars for finishing my high school credits early. Leaving me a remaining balance of 5,500 dollars.
For a 17 year old that had no money, it seemed impossible. But, I just couldn't give up my passion, my dream! My parents had always taught me that being in this country was a privilege and I needed to study hard and make the most of my opportunities. My Parents sacrificed everything they had, to emigrate to Utah and raise us in an environment where we could be anything we wanted to be if, we chose work and study hard. I always felt like I owed it to them to work hard, study hard and follow my dreams. As a little girl, my dad always told me that I would be the first, female president (of the United States). And, I honestly believed it because, I knew he had faith in me and he never gave me limits as to how far I could dream.
While I don't see myself as the President of the United States anytime soon, I know that because of my Dads honest faith and encouragement in me, I still know I could be. If, I wanted to. I took his faith in me, to heart and I decided that I would find a way to pay for school.
I quickly applied everywhere I could and got an interview at a Shopko. I went in, interviewed for a floor worker and got the job. Wasn't a lot of money or a fun sounding job but, I didn't care. I needed what I could get at that moment. One of the amazing things about this country is that, if you are willing to work, you can attain just about anything you set your mind to. I now, was ready to start school!
After beginning school I fell more in love with up do work and makeup above any other aspect of cosmetology. I felt like that is where I had the easiest time and where I had the most fun. I was so grateful to be in hair school, I tried to absorb as much information as I could. But, it wasn't always easy or fun, especially with my hectic schedule. I had to fit so much into one day, it was crazy. It went something like this... I got there at 8am, went to high school at 12 for a couple classes, headed back to cosmetology school til 5:15, Started work (Shopko) at 5:25, Got off work between 10:30-12:00 (after being on my feet the whole time) and finally, home! I did this for what seemed like eternity and it was one of the hardest things I had done at that point in my life. But, that was my only option if I wanted to make my monthly payment of 350 to the school. It was hard and I remember crying my way home from work, a lot of the time, just because of how exhausted I was. It was a big sacrifice but honestly, I am so grateful for those experiences and for that phase in my life. It taught me a lot about work ethic, perseverance, endurance, determination and how to fight for my passion. Traits that I was going to need for the rest of my life, in fact. What a great lesson I got to learn at such an early age. It's amazing what we will sacrifice in order to chase our dreams and live our passions. At the end of those long 14 months, I had a balance of about 1,300 dollars and didn't know how I was going to come up with that money so quickly. To my surprise, my parents gave me that money for my graduation present (along with a new personal makeup set!) I am so grateful for their help, I was blessed to have the payment for school each month and extra blessed to have my parents help me out with the last big payment! It felt so good to have finished and I knew, it would all be worth it.
After I was and licensed as a cosmetologist, I was eager to learn more about makeup artistry. I met an amazing mentor in a class I took and she taught me everything I needed to know about the film industry. She began inviting me to shadow her on the films she was working on and I soon became her assistant. I couldn't get enough of that environment, I had never seen such team work! Everyone on the cast/crew had such talent and to make a production, it required every individual to give 100% of their talent. I began to develop a new passion, a passion for the production world. I loved making the actors up, to transform them into their character. I was re-living that feeling I had when I drew all "notebook looks", times 100!
That is how I got my start in film/TV work and I later started contracting through a bridal company as well. I now do free-lance work wherever it takes me and am currently working on a daily television show for BYUTV. I love what I do, and I love sharing my passion for makeup, with each new canvas I get to work on.
I believe that I got to where I am now because of a combination of a few things. First, I had the ambition, to pursue a career in what I was passionate about. Second, I worked hard and endured through the grueling schedule, others' doubts, and even rejection and that, is never easy to take. Thirdly, I always think of this quote my mom wrote me in a journal that she gave me. "Success happens when preparedness meets opportunity." I feel like I prepared myself as much as I could and when opportunities arose, success was the consequence.
I haven't yet reached the height of my ultimate dreams but, I am on the path that will lead me there. And for now, I am content to be where I am today.
I truly encourage anyone who hasn't found their passion, to reflect back on what thing in life has given you that feeling of joy, excitement or accomplishment. What are you good at or what do you feel most comfortable doing? Once you have figured that part out, I challenge you to act on your passion, to break down the barriers of your comfort zone and take risks! "It's better to have a life of Oh well's, than a life of what ifs". Transform that fragile flicker inside, into a rip roaring flame.
You never know if your passion can be used to help or uplift others. Anything from using your passion for sports to start coaching and help build self worth and confidence in kids. Or using your passion for sewing, to help teach others how to mend their own clothes to be more thrifty and self reliant. And even using your passion for emergency preparedness, to help teach those around you how to be aware and prepared for an emergency situation.
There is always a dimension of your passion that can be used for good but, it is up to you to find out what it is and use it in its a most fulfilling form. It will increase your happiness and give you fulfillment you never thought possible. Chase your passion, and follow your dreams.
Here are some pictures of my work from right out of school to present:
